When you don’t know who you are…

Praveen Kumar
5 min readSep 11, 2021

--

God’s eye view of universe resembling brain cells

When you are young, when you are old, when you are just born and when you just died. Throughout all these phases, what if you have no idea who you are? What if you can’t remember your name? What if you have no memory of anyone or anything, and ultimately you don’t recognize yourself? How do you feel? Normal?

It is your ego that gives shapes and colors to you and the things around you. It is the thing that makes you “YOU”. Your conscious and unconscious thoughts manifest everything around you. It is your own thought which brings your hands in front of your eyes to see it, does that mean that your hands went there all by itself or you consciously tried to put thought to move your hand and see it? I know it sounds confusing.

Does clapping your hands without anyone else around still make a sound if you are deaf? The confusion happens when you recognize yourself with your senses and not beyond that. Sit idle, don’t move, can you feel your bones inside you individually? No? How can you not feel it? It is inside you all along and yet you cannot separately feel your bones and your own blood flowing through your veins.

Everything that you hear, see, smell and feel, is just an electrical signal that gets passed from your sense organs to your brain. Your brain then simulates your reality around you by interpreting those electrical signals. What if you can alter those signals at will? Can you even do that? Do you have such power? Even if you wanted, can you add a heartbeat to yourself at will? Your heart acts on its own, it never waits for your command to pump the blood. Your nose doesn’t ask your permission to smell something that is in the air. You can consciously breathe, but can you stop it for a day? Your eyes definitely don’t need your permission to see something. Yes, you can choose to close your eyes, but that doesn’t stop your eyes from seeing things, you can close your eyes and still see things behind the curtain. You don’t consciously control any of your senses, all you can do is just moderate the things that you see, smell, and hear.

What else is in your control? The grass near you grows by itself, the trees by itself, even your planet doesn’t need your permission to go around the burning Sun, yes you haven’t given any permission for the sun to burn, or did you command that with your higher senses that is beyond your physical reach? The higher sense that can give commands and sustain the life around you? When you become conscious, your entire surroundings come to life, completely alive, creating all these electrical signals simulating the reality around you to have a sense of being alive, a sense of being conscious, and a desire to experience being alive.

What is all this about? Why do I either feel a connection to the existence of these electrical signals or something that is beyond my physical senses? Why not my command to extend today’s night a little longer is not working? Maybe because my higher senses do not care about my physical senses? Or I never had command over anything? Everything around me happens on its own and I don’t need to exist at all? Does anything in this world need my approval?

Why are all these restrictions, confusions, the feeling of powerlessness, and meaningless existence? All comes to the light when you surrender yourself to the light, that’s when you start seeing the visions of your lives you had in the past and will have in the future, You may not have time for spirituality. I don’t want to get into that either. That is practical & purely science. Don’t you really see the proof sitting in front of you? If you are a physical entity, you were once living inside the core of a star, burst yourself out of it as hot gas and flames, reached the farthest you can go, cooling yourself down a bit. Solidifying into a rock with many elements.

Did you stop at that? No, you added friction to yourself to make yourself into shatters, When you were exposed to heat, you melted and evaporated. You didn’t stop over there, you wanted to explore all the possibilities. You combined yourself into the other elements to form a molecule and somehow managed yourself to become a cell and as a single-celled organism you felt alone, you split yourself and those cells split themselves to form a colony. You are now a small tiny organism to experience yourself and your surroundings slowly. You are now hungry to eat something, the hunger made you explore more of your surroundings, You learned to adapt to the surrounding situations, and you learned to coexist, to swim, and then get out of water crawling and jumping.

You now wanted to fly and explore further, when you did, you needed some rest, you settled in a place to take a calm walk in the woods. You are now hungrier than ever, you hunt, kill and eat your own parts that are walking, flying, or swimming near you. Sometimes pluck or cut to eat the ones that are unable to run or cry in the languages that you do not understand. Without realizing you are killing a part of yourself and causing pain to no one else except you. In both ways, your hunger is now satisfied, and also life around you is killed. You wanted more, you wanted to run and explore more, you now became a human experience yourself and the surrounding with more intelligence, all the way from starting your journey inside the core of a burning star. Those are your organs, cells, and atoms in you. They are from the star you had exploded out from it.

When you don’t know who you are... Is when you forget where you came from and what have you become now. Remember you were once a star and not just a part of it. Remember, you are the universe trying to experience itself in many ways with senses that cannot be comprehended by thinking of yourself just as part of it, but not the whole.

When you don’t know who you are…

Remember! you are the UNIVERSE.

--

--

Praveen Kumar
Praveen Kumar

Written by Praveen Kumar

A so-called intelligent primate, Budding writer, Artist, Oneironaut